i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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