i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The adults are the big ones right?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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