drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
