they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
