we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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