So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
