her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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