My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm too high and old for this...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
