I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
