They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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