remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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