I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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