i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
