she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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