yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
