it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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