he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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