She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
