he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
