Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
