Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize