she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
