your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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