Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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