I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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