I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
