What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
