You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
