it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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