btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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