And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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