I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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