therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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