i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm always down for nudity.
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