we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
A+ Viking dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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