I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
