you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
