yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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