dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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