I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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