I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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