then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
