Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
