I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
