question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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