break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
