butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
