Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
