the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
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Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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