just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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