Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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