Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
