it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
