Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
