Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
