This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
