So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
