Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
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