I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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