If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
