im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
