Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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