Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
