Why are handjobs necessary in class?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
