how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
