I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
