The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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